Teen Dating Abuse

Possessiveness and Jealousy Do Not Equal Love

There are several forms of abuse: physical, emotional, sexual and verbal.

In 2001, the Journal of the American Medical Association released a study that showed approximately 1 in 5 female public high school students experienced physical and/or sexual abuse from their dating partner. Adolescent girls who reported abuse from their dating partners were found to be at higher risk for the following:

1. Substance abuse (alcohol, tobacco, and cocaine)
2. Unhealthy weight maintenance
3. Unhealthy sexual behavior
4. Pregnancy
5. Suicide

Alcohol is present in 40-50% of incidents of dating violence.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions when expressing anger that is already there.

Abusers are often described as playful, attentive, sensitive, exciting and affectionate when they are not being abusive.
Often abusers and victims of abuse have similar backgrounds. They include:

• Growing up in a violent family
• Learning as a child to respond to stress/conflict violently
• Growing up in an environment in which sex roles were exaggerated
• Poor self-image

Some characteristics to be aware of at the beginning of a relationship with a potentially abusive partner are:

• Possessiveness which surfaces and gets out of control
• Possessiveness may be expressed by showering the other with gifts, surprise visits, many phone calls - in general, the abuser may be overattentive.
• After awhile, the abuser may demand to know the exact details of the other's whereabouts. Possessiveness and jealousy begin to dominate the relationship.

What To Do

• Be aware of your community resources
• Safety plan with someone who has domestic violence knowledge, as each plan is different!
• Have a plan before you break it off. Don't argue or threaten. End the relationship in a public venue.
• Access the Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1 (866) 331-9474
• If you are not ready to break it off, figure out a way to stay safe in the relationship. Call Alternatives to Domestic Violence's 24-hour Hotline. All calls are kept confidential: (201) 336-7575.